TRUMP CLAIMS WIRETAPS ARE NOW BEING FOUND IN THE WHITE HOUSE — EVEN HIS FOOD

By Tim Shin April 1, 2017 WASHINGTON, D.C. — Press Secretary Sean Spicer made a startling announcement during a White House press luncheon today, claiming that wiretaps are now being found throughout the White House — even in the president’s food. Spicer stated, “The president is certain that Obama wiretapped his beloved Trump Tower, andContinue reading “TRUMP CLAIMS WIRETAPS ARE NOW BEING FOUND IN THE WHITE HOUSE — EVEN HIS FOOD”

DYSON ALARMED ITS “FACIAL MOISTURIZERS” ARE BEING USED AS HAND DRYERS

By Tim Shin Feb 10, 2017 MALMSBURY, UNITED KINGDOM — Dyson released a statement today advising businesses, airports and other public establishments to stop using its “facial moisturizers” as hand dryers. The devices in question feature a sleek grey design, a contoured opening in the middle and the label “dyson airblade” on the front of theContinue reading “DYSON ALARMED ITS “FACIAL MOISTURIZERS” ARE BEING USED AS HAND DRYERS”

TRUMP SAID TO BE SUFFERING FROM REVERSE BENJAMIN BUTTON SYNDROME

By Tim Shin December 16, 2016 BEIJING, CHINA — Following recent comments that Trump was “very childish and impulsive” by China’s state-run newspaper, the paper revealed the reason behind these comments: Chinese scientists believe Trump may be suffering from Reverse Benjamin Button Syndrome (RBBS). The syndrome is diagnosed when a subject’s body continues to age whileContinue reading “TRUMP SAID TO BE SUFFERING FROM REVERSE BENJAMIN BUTTON SYNDROME”

MILLONS OF AMERICANS CAST VOTES IN ATTEMPT TO PLUNGE COUNTRY INTO RECESSION

By Tim Shin, November 8, 2016 WASHINGTON, D.C. — Millions of Americans cast their votes today in a concerted effort to plunge the country into recession once again. After seven years of economic gains, including 80 consecutive months of private sector job growth resulting in 15 million new jobs, an unemployment rate below 5%, lowerContinue reading “MILLONS OF AMERICANS CAST VOTES IN ATTEMPT TO PLUNGE COUNTRY INTO RECESSION”

MAN STATES VIOLENCE AT HIS RALLIES HELPS TO UNITE COUNTRY

(PARODY/SATIRE) By Tim Shin, October 28, 2016 WASHINGTON D.C. — In a bizarre twist today, Trump announced that the violence occurring at his rallies and on his campaign trail was actually an attempt to unite the country. Reiterating previous comments he made about the nation being “too divided,” Trump stated that he was using reverseContinue reading “MAN STATES VIOLENCE AT HIS RALLIES HELPS TO UNITE COUNTRY”

STUDY FINDS MOST SAN FRANCISCO RESIDENTS SUFFERING FROM STOCKHOLM SYNDROME

(PARODY/SATIRE) By Tim Shin, October 25th, 2016 SAN FRANCISCO, CA — A recent study by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) found that the vast majority of San Francisco residents are suffering from Stockholm syndrome. Despite being held hostage and repeatedly abused by their landlords and property management companies, most of the 800,000 residents of SanContinue reading “STUDY FINDS MOST SAN FRANCISCO RESIDENTS SUFFERING FROM STOCKHOLM SYNDROME”

BREAKING NEWS: Trump denies being at Monday’s debate

(PARODY/SATIRE) By Tim Shin, September 28, 2016 NEW YORK, N.Y. — After initially denying making certain remarks during Monday night’s presidential debate, Trump made an astonishing announcement today by saying he wasn’t even there. A CNN reporter remarked that, “While we’re used to him denying things that we have video records of, this is justContinue reading “BREAKING NEWS: Trump denies being at Monday’s debate”